Bright Light Followed the Dark Night
Even after a dark night, wonderful new light can appear again
One late afternoon, we were surprised by a young woman visiting with us, who told us that she had attended the local school together with our sons. She merely wanted to hear what our sons were doing and how life had been for them. The young woman appeared somewhat sad and empty to us. Therefore, we offered her some tea and refreshments and talked for some time.
Finally, we asked her what she was doing in her life.
“Not much”, came the answer.
Then, she suddenly opened her blouse and one could see that she had only one breast. The other appeared as empty skin hanging on her ribs.
“Cancer”, she said, “just touch the good one”.
The so-called good beast felt soft and warm – and just of the right firmness.
“Silicone”, she said. “Maybe I have them fill the other one, too, when I get around to it.”
“And children I will not have either”, she continued. “This kind of cancer is inheritable – and I wanted to put an end to this suffering. In the hospital, they disconnected something and therefore I cannot have children any longer. Now, I let men do with me what they want – if I like them”.
“Is there none with whom an enduring friendship could evolve?”, we asked.
“Love always burns out”, was the answer. “One actually does meet some nice men – one does develop mutual attraction – and sometimes I even move in with an especially likable one. There could follow some weeks of real happiness and joy. Over time, however, everything becomes more sober. Then, I put in some special effort – preparing an especially nice breakfast before he has to go to work and, in the evening, there always are some fresh flowers on the table. But, after dinner, all men are always the same. They disappear behind the newspaper or have some more work to do for the office. The worst is when they just turn to the TV to stupidly watch some simple show all evening long.
Then, sooner or later, the time comes for me to move on.
Therefore, my life is only a dark night“.
Before she left us that evening, I only mentioned that it is a certain experience that if one concentrates on the suffering of some other people – possibly with the same problem, or an all together different one, or merely with loneliness – one can begin to forget oneself.
After some time, the young woman visited with us again. She looked better, almost a little bit happy.
“How did everything come along for you?”, we asked.
“I thought about your concluding words last time”, she answered. “Then I remembered that, many years ago, I had attended a course for social work with children, then still hoping for some of my own. I even had received a little diploma. Now it occurred to me that the church I attend only quite seldomly had a day care center. Single parents or working ones could send their children there for part of the day. So I went there and offered my services.
They did not have a real job form me. But I could help there as a volunteer, they said. I accepted that.
This day care center accommodates about 23 children every day, allowing them to wildly mill around. We adults only paid attention that no accidents would occur or that they would not hurt each other.
One day, the headmistress of the center came up with a new idea.
“How would it be if each of us would especially concentrate on only 2 or 3 children – as Ersatz-mom to say so”.
I selected a small boy and his even smaller sister. Their mother was killed in a car accident a few years ago. Their father had to work to gain the necessary income. He picked up his children every late afternoon after work and seemed to be very nice to them.
After some time, the children and I became adjusted to each other – almost liking each other. After still more time, we really loved each other and the children began to call me “Mom”.
Now, I thought every evening about whether I could bring something interesting or beautiful along to them and what we could play together – especially what I could teach them. Because one day, when they would attend a real school, they would have to compete with children from normal families, who had found so much more mental stimulation and also self confidence.
Thus, it became a real good time. In the evenings at home, however, I was alone – with all those problems and searching thoughts. But during the day, the children had already liberated me from myself.
Thereby, the world has become a little brighter!”
After again some time, the young woman visited with us one more time.
She looked much better, evn joyful.
“Well, how did everything continue with the children’s day care center”, we asked immediately.
„Just imagine“, she answered, “one day, shortly before closing time for the center, the father of my selected children stopped by. He merely wanted to see who cared for his children and about whom they then talked so much at home.
We had a nice talk – about the children, who, as I said, I loved by now.
I also mentioned to him my dark secret.
Anyway, the father stopped by again after some time – and then again.
Finally he asked me whether I would not like to have dinner with him and the children.
That turned out to be very happy, almost harmonious.
After several dinners, he finally asked me, whether I would want to move in with them. Then, I could care for the children also in the evening and on weekends – and for him, too.
I hesitated – but must have had quite a happy face – and, therefore, he pulled a ring out of his pocket which he had brought along in anticipation – and put it on the appropriate finger on my hand.
Several months later, we got married
Did a new day start for me?
I was afraid that also this love would burn out.
Therefore, I cared again for a nice breakfast, also for the children, who now stayed home with me. In the evening I brought in fresh flowers from the garden, if there were any. Would my husband disappear after some time, too, behind the newspaper or in front of the TV?
All started again with the weeks of love and joy. But then this remained a little longer. Soon this had become months of happiness! He never disappeared after dinner behind the newspaper, only seldom he still had something to do for the office – and TV we only watched when the subject was of interest to both of us – about which we then talked.
By now, it is already more than a year that we are together – and the happiness becomes ever greater, the love ever deeper – maybe we sense this because we both had some suffering before.
He told me that it makes him so glad whenever he sees me joyful – and for me, it is such a wonderful feeling when I see him happy as he comes home!
Out of dark night it now became bright light!